Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
