we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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