My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
