Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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