This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
