sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
