oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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