we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
