At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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