I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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