i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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