we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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