I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
