Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
