actually, I'm a sock model
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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