tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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