ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
