I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
