Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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