My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
