hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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