I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
