Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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