I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
