Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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