I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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