just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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