When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
