I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC