if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.