i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats