Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.