How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize