I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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