and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize