You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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