Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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