she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize