I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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