I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
