I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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