Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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