I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
