That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
