it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
