you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
