Quick, to the slutcave!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
