i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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