AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
