There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
