Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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