K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
