I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
