i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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