i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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