Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
where are my eyebrows?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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