Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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