very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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