Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
