You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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