In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
