Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
