1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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