i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
