so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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