If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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